Understanding people, building confidence, and creating space for growth

Intro

One of the hardest lessons in tech leadership isn’t about cloud architecture, security configuration, or frameworks—it’s about people. Every colleague brings their own mix of confidence, fear, enthusiasm, and experience. If you want the best from them, you have to understand what makes them tick.

IM not a trained psychologist and this isn’t about management theory. It’s about the simple, human reality that people do their best work when they feel safe, supported, and seen

Understand What Makes People Tick

Everyone you work with has different motivations and anxieties. Some want challenge; others want clarity. Some thrive when presented with autonomy; others freeze if they’re not certain they’re doing things “right.”

If you take the time to understand someone’s drivers, you can tailor the way you support them.
Feedback becomes meaningful. Collaboration becomes smoother. Trust grows naturally.

Feedback Isn’t Just a Performance Tool—It’s Confidence Fuel

A lot of people think feedback is just something you give once a blue moon thing. In reality, it’s a daily tool that helps shape confidence.

• Positive feedback tells people what they should do more of.
• Constructive feedback helps them navigate uncertainty.
• Supportive feedback reminds them that mistakes are part of learning.

When people know that your feedback comes from a place of growth—not judgment—they stop fearing it and start asking for it.

Give People Room to Grow (With a Safety Net)

Growth happens when people have permission to try, permission to fail, and support to iterate.

Let them know:

• You’re their safety net.
• You won’t judge them for experimenting.
• It’s okay to get things wrong—we’ll fix it together.
• Progress comes from PDD: Practice, Doing, and Debriefing.

This is especially true in tech where iteration is everything. Ship the MVP.
Learn from it.
Improve on it when the opportunity comes.
Repeat.

The same principle applies to people.

Different Characters, Different Journeys

The Fear‑Based Avoider Who Became a Technical Powerhouse

I once worked with a developer who checked everything.
Every commit.
Every ticket.
Every line of code.

Not because they lacked ability, but because they were terrified of getting things wrong. Terrified of being judged.

All they actually needed was reassurance that:

• it’s safe to try
• mistakes are okay
• we’re in this together
• Its not all on them – there is a plan B

Once they understood that?
They transformed.
Within months they were solving problems faster than the seniors.
They flourished.
They were promoted.
All the ability was there from day one—they just needed know they were in a safe space.

The Enthusiastic Beginner Who Needed the Right Kind of Challenge

Then there was someone with limited experience but endless enthusiasm.
Give them a task and they’d sprint at it.
But enthusiasm can be fragile if you overload it.

The trick was finding that sweet spot:

• challenging enough to grow
• manageable enough to succeed
• safe enough that failure wouldn’t crush confidence

Get that balance right and they accelerate.
Get it wrong and you risk shaking the foundations they’re still building.

The Capable Developer unstuck by Pressure

Another colleague would develop huge self-doubt when stakes were high.
Not because they weren’t capable.
Not because they didn’t know what to do.
But because they carried a deep fear of being seen as incompetent as a result of past experiences

Sometimes the real coaching wasn’t technical at all.
Sometimes the right thing to say was:

“You’re not failing.
Some situations are unfair.
Build that into your reasoning.
This is not all on you.”

When people understand that sometimes the environment, not their ability, is the issue, they stop internalising every setback.

Psychological Safety Isn’t Optional

In every case—and in every team I’ve worked with—the pattern is the same:

People do their best work when they feel safe, supported, and trusted.

Creating psychological safety doesn’t mean shielding people from difficulty.
It means giving them the confidence to handle difficulty without fear of punishment or judgment.

Summary

In my experience, If you want to get the best out of your colleagues:

• Understand their motivations
• Give meaningful feedback
• Be their safety net
• Provide space to experiment
• Celebrate the MVP and iterate
• Balance challenge with support
• Remind them it’s not always on them